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  • Larissa Martin

I Have More Than ‘One’ Best Friend And That Doesn’t Make Me A Bad Friend

By Larissa Martin- Jan 26, 2021

Growing up, life was simple. You have a best friend, who you are inseparable from. Your every need is met by this one friend because you don’t have many complex needs at the time. All you’re worried about is the next time you can see each other and hangout. When people ask you who your best friend is, it’s obvious to you and to those around you, who your best friend is. But as you grow up, your needs change and that includes taste in best friends. You’re certainly not limited to one.

My mom is black and white when it comes to best friends and how many you should have in her eyes, you only have one and that’s it. Don’t you dare bring up another best friend because you only have one. Over the years she has asked me the question; “Larissa who is your best friend?”. When I try my best to explain my answer and reasoning for it, she says “you can only pick one”. That is impossible for me to do because I don’t just have one best friend. I am lucky enough to have four. I call them my “core four”.

As an adult, I have had consistency issues when it comes to friends. I get close to someone; we are friends for a few years and then they are gone. So, I tend to not expect people to stay when they say they will because they always leave.

The oldest friendship in my core of best friends is a friendship of 17 years. Which for me, is surprising. Because like I said, I don’t expect friends to stay that long. He is my rock. He has been there for me through everything; good, bad and everything in between.

My “go- to” friend. The one I can go to if I need a good therapy/crying session in his car. He’s so easy to talk to and with him my walls come down completely. He is also the one who is always down for a concert or a road trip.

My next bestie, the mom friend. I have known for 6 years. Always asking if you need anything, dropping stuff off when she knows you don’t feel good.

Last, but certainly not least is my newest addition to my group of friends. She is the one that really pays attention to the little things in your life that matter to you. She also takes the time to do things that many may not think to do t but she does that for me, and it means the world.

I think as a society most of us have the mind frame that when it comes to friendships. You only have one for life and that’s it. I believe this can be true but to an extent. As we get older, we grow, and you might find yourself with more than one best friend. You might also outgrow friends and that’s okay too.

Once we leave behind this idea that we have one best friend then we can open ourselves up to the world and your circle will be more open. You might lose friends, and feel like you’re losing everything, but you’re not losing anything. You’re gaining a new friend and you will possibly see a new side of yourself that you never knew you had.

At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how many besties you have or how different they are. Once we come to the realization that having only one go to best friend isn’t mandatory, our friendships will be better because of it.

Featured Photo by DESIGNECOLOGIST on Unsplash


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